When you dread the days ahead and you want to change it

I woke up this morning with dread. I didn’t want to face the day or the week and just wanted the week to already be over.

It’s Monday.

And when I realized it’s Monday I thought about how awful it is that I’m not only dreading today but an entire week. I should never feel that way. We may live zillions of days in our lives and some may be less spectacular than others, but we’re living, aren’t we? Every day is precious.

The problem is I have made some bad choices in my life. It’s nothing new since we all make bad choices. But I learned a long time ago that you can either wallow in the bad choice and want to move backwards or you can move ahead and fix the problem. So I can sit here and spin my wheels or I can fix things. I prefer the latter and have been trying to do it.

But some things are out of my control, and as someone who fully admits she’s a control freak, that’s unsettling. I don’t like being out of control of anything in my life. I know I have to rely on others to help at times, and I’m grateful to the people who have helped me, but I do want a sense that I can control how my life navigates. I need to be the captain of the boat.

Meanwhile, one of my friends made an excellent suggestion. Each night I should write down in my journal the best thing about the day. I haven’t been a journal writer per se in awhile because I will hash things out in my brain while working out, laying in bed or driving in my car. Then I let them go. My journal writing tends to focus on ideas for stories and articles and blurbs I want to include. But her idea is a fantastic one because it forces me to notice the good in my day.

Also, she suggested that each morning I should consider what good will happen that day to give myself a positive outlook on the day to come. That’s a little harder since I wake up with dread most mornings and cheerlead myself into the day. But it’s worth trying to do too, especially as I continue to work on Project Positive.


About Jen

Jen is a social media producer and a local journalist at heart. When not trying to take over the journalism world she writes, takes lots of photos and roots on her beloved New York Rangers and Mets.


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